Star Wars: Forbidden Secrets
by panda10267
Summary: Ahsoka must deal with some growing feelings while on a mission with her Master. Anakin must advise her while keeping his marriage a secret.
1. Chapter 1

She stood awkwardly in front of her friend's door. A fist was balled up, lingering over the metallic surface for a knock. Ahsoka wasn't sure what she was doing there, but she couldn't talk to her master about her feelings. So there she was standing in front of Barriss's door, hoping that her friend would not judge her for what she was about to tell her.  
>Ahsoka let out a long sigh and knocked on the door. The metal clanged against her fist. She waited for what seemed like hours but in reality was mere seconds, her foot tapping anxiously against the ground. In the bit of panic, Ahsoka tried to walk away; changing her mind about asking Barriss for some much needed wisdom. Before she could take that first step, the door slid open revealing Barriss with her dark hood over her face.<br>"Ahsoka, how good it is to see you." Barriss said with a smile and a bow. "What brings you to my quarters?"  
>"I wasn't sure who to talk to, but I am in need of guidance." Ahsoka said with her head turned down, almost ashamed to look anyone in the eye. Barriss moved out of the doorway and gestured for Ahsoka to follow her into her quarters.<br>Her room was very plain, just like every Jedi's room. Without possessions, all that took up space in the room was a flat mattress in the corner and a small nightstand to the side. Placed near the only window in the room was a small round ottoman for meditation.  
>Ahsoka walked in and plopped herself down on the ottoman. Barriss followed and leaned herself against the windowsill. She pulled her hood down, revealing her face. "Is there something troubling you Ahsoka?"<br>"There is." Ahsoka replied. "I'm just not sure how to say it."  
>"You know I'm here for you. I am your friend." Barriss said, trying to get Ahsoka to open up.<br>"I know. It's just hard to talk about, mainly because of the strict rules of the Jedi." Ahsoka looked up searching for a reaction from Barriss. Barriss just nodded, wanting Ahsoka to continue. "The Jedi code forbids Jedi from attachment, and this is something I think I am struggling with."  
>"Isn't this something that you should be discussing with your master?" Barriss asked. "I think he would have a better idea of how to help you."<br>"I can't talk to Anakin about these things." Ahsoka said flatly. "See, I've been having these feelings. One's of attachment." She tried to clarify. "I think I like someone." She paused. " Like more than a friend."  
>"My master told me that such feelings are natural and that we must look past them in order to be at peace with oneself." Barriss chimed in. "Hasn't Master Skywalker taught you the same?"<br>"He's mentioned something like that once or twice."  
>"And why can't you talk to him about this?"<br>Ahsoka sighed once again. "Because I have these feelings for Anakin."  
>Barriss wasn't sure how to respond after that revelation. She was shocked to hear about her friend's feelings, but at the same time wished she had more wisdom to share. The truth was, Barriss had never felt anything like love for anyone. She had only heard descriptions of it from other people.<br>"I'm sorry Ahsoka, but I'm not sure I know how to help you. I think that even though it is hard, you should talk to your master about this. While you may have grown overly attached to him, I think he would have a solution on how to look past the forming attachment. After all, he must have had to look past those feelings himself."  
>"But there is no way to be certain."<br>"Ahsoka, he is a guy. I've heard rumor that all they think about is women, whether they let you know it or not."  
>"Yeah, maybe your right. " Ahsoka smiled. She felt slightly better but was still unsure on whether or not she would bring this up to Anakin. Perhaps she would find someone else to ask, seeing as the Jedi temple was filled with other masters who would have the answers she needed. Before she had time to finish that thought, her commlink on her wrist began to buzz. She tapped the glowing circle and heard Master Kenobi's voice resonate from it's speakers.<br>"Ahsoka, please tell me Anakin is with you." A hint of panic waved through his voice.  
>"No, I haven't seen him much since we got back from Maridun."<br>"He isn't answering his commlink. His presence is needed at the Briefing room as soon as possible. If you could go retrieve him, I am to brief you two on a new mission."  
>"Yes master." Ahsoka responded before the communicator went silent. It was now up to her to find her master on the largest city in the galaxy. She was hoping this impossible task would end quickly.<p>

Anakin could feel the warm morning sun touching his bare skin. He laid still in the bed for what seemed like a long time, enjoying the peace of the new morning. He turned to his side, facing the window so that the warm rays touched his whole torso. He slowly slid his eyelids back, revealing the most beautiful angel laying next to him amongst the soft sheets. He took his flesh hand and slowly traced his fingers over Padme's bare shoulder. Her skin was so smooth to the touch; the contact making Anakin's own skin boil. It was moments like that that kept Anakin sane through the war.  
>He leaned his head down to kiss the shoulder he had just been caressing. His arm looped through her arm and torso, wrapping around so his hand could cup one of her perfect breasts. Padme began to stir from her slumber. Instead of pushing Anakin away, she pushed her whole body back. Every inch of their bodies were touching one another. She cocked her head back allowing Anakin to plant kisses along her neck. Her body tingled wherever his lips touched her skin. "Good morning angel." Anakin breathed into her hair.<br>"I always think that mornings like these are dreams. Reality could never be this good." Padme smiled as Anakin gave a slight squeeze to her breast.  
>"If this is a dream, then I never want to wake up." He said.<br>Padme turned her whole body to face him. She ran her fingers through his hair, playing with the soft ends. A hint of sadness crept up into Padme's face as she moved her hands down towards his chest. She brushed across the healing burns from Anakin's past mission. He had saved so many people, but almost at the cost of his own life. Padme had almost become a young widow. She couldn't bear the thought. Anakin winced from her touch and she pulled away. "Sorry." Padme said quickly.  
>"It's alright, I'd rather feel the pain than be absent from your touch." He said as he grabbed her hands in his and brought them up to his mouth for another kiss.<br>"I'd rather you not be in pain." She muttered. "I'd rather you be right here with me always."  
>"I'm always with you." He cupped his hand around her jaw and brought her closer to him. Their lips locked and Padme melted into Anakin's passionate kiss. His warm tongue entered her mouth and dominantly stroked her own. She could feel herself filling with desire. But just as he pulled her underneath him, they both heard a buzzing from the nightstand. Anakin collapsed his body over hers, his head falling in between her breasts.<br>"That's the fourth time this morning your commlink has gone off." Padme said, slight disappointment in her voice.  
>Anakin sighed and grabbed the commlink from the nightstand. Still laying on top of Padme he answered. "What do you want Obi-wan?" He said reluctantly.<br>"Anakin, I've been trying to reach you all morning. Where are you?" Padme ran her fingers through Anakin's hair as he continued to talk to Obi-wan.  
>"You know master, around."<br>"Actually Anakin, I don't know. But I suggest you get around to walking through the briefing room door. Your presence was called for hours ago."  
>"I'll be there as soon as I can, Master."<br>"And Anakin, try not to be late in the future."  
>"I will master." It was just like Obi-wan to scold him for being late.<br>Anakin placed the commlink back on the nightstand and turned to look at Padme. "Looks like I have to take my leave M'lady." He said.  
>"Come back to me in one piece, Ani."<br>"As you wish." He kissed her forehead quickly before darting around the room for his Jedi robes. Padme just laid in bed watching as he pulled the clothing over his muscular body. Before he left, Padme stood up on her knees on the bed and crawled towards her husband. The sheets fell away from her exposing her perfect body to him. He drank in the sight, not knowing when the next time he would see her.  
>He moved quickly to embrace her, giving his wife one last kiss before he had to depart. "I love you Ani." Padme whispered to him, almost as if saying it too loud would expose their secret.<br>"I love you more." He whispered back, cracking that boyish grin of his. And with that sentiment he turned and left, dreading each step he took leading away from his angel.


	2. Chapter 2

Anakin rushed through the halls of the Jedi Temple. His one goal was to reach the briefing room before Obi-wan became too angry with him. Just before he reached his goal, he found that his padawan stood waiting outside the door. She looked over at him and her face instantly lit up.  
>"Where have you been? I looked all over the temple for you. Master Obi-wan is not pleased."<br>Anakin smiled. "I'm sure he is fuming." He said as he walked into the briefing room, Ahsoka following at his heels.  
>Obi-wan watched the pair walk towards him as if nothing were wrong. "I'm sure this is amusing to you Anakin, but if it is not too much trouble, the council is sending you on another mission."<br>"Where to this time." Anakin said, intrigued by the thought of a new adventure.  
>Obi-wan rolled his eyes. He never much liked how excited Anakin got over new missions. New missions meant that what the Jedi stood for had not come to past; that there still was no peace in the galaxy. Anakin just viewed it as a way to keep himself busy. Sometimes he wondered how peace times would treat his former padawan. "Mandalore." Obi-wan replied. "It seems that the neutral planet is having some trouble with a separatist blockade."<br>Anakin pulled up a view of the planet on the control console in the middle of the room. A holographic image of Mandalore could be seen, with a blockade of trade federation ships within the orbit.  
>Obi-wan continued. "It seems the trade federation has decided once again to block trade routes from yet another planet. The people of Mandalore are starving, and the republic has lost substantial arms trade with the planet."<br>"And we are to destroy the blockade?" Ahsoka asked, confused by the politics of the situation.  
>"Not necessarily." Obi-wan answered. "Mandalore is a neutral planet, and thus refusing any help from either separatist or republic forces. While the Jedi are their own entity, it is pretty clear that by our interference the republic would gain advantages from the destruction of the blockade."<br>"Please tell me you are not going to ask us to negotiate." Anakin said, worried for the answer. "You know where that gets us, locked up and sent to our deaths in most of the situations you get us into."  
>Obi-wan did not look amused. "Seeing as you are usually the one to get us into situations, I'm going to ignore your past comment. But yes, this is a negotiation mission."<br>Both Anakin and Ahsoka sighed heavily.  
>"I did not say that you two would be doing the negotiations." Obi-wan pointed out.<br>"Then who is?" Anakin asked.  
>"A senator who has dealt with a very similar situation on her home-world."<br>"Padme." Anakin guessed.  
>Obi-wan nodded. "She has requested that you accompany her as her protector. She is a friend to the Dutchess of Mandalore, and with her political past, she may be able to convince the Duchess for Republic involvement."<br>"Sounds fun enough, but how do you propose we get past the blockade of Trade Federation ships?" Anakin asked.  
>"I thought I would leave that part up to you, Anakin. Did you want me to take all the fun out of the mission?"<br>"Do you have a plan, master?" Ahsoka asked, eyeing the holographic ships.  
>"Of course I do, Snips." He said coolly.<br>Ahsoka's heart skipped a beat at the sound of Anakin's pet name for her. She always adored the fact that he cared enough to have a term of endearment for her.  
>Anakin turned to leave the briefing room before he was caught by Obi-wan. "Hold on there, I will be accompanying you two as well. The Duchess and I go way back, and if Senator Amidala can't persuade her than perhaps I can."<br>"With what? Your beard and charming sense of humor?" Anakin said sarcastically.  
>"Yes, well at least my beard and humor will get me farther than your skills with a lightsaber." Obi-wan blurted out.<br>"My skills have gotten us out of more situations than your skills at negotiating." Anakin continued to tease.  
>"I beg to differ."<br>"Boys." Ahsoka interrupted. "The mission?" She always loved the bickering between the two. They were definitely like bickering brothers who had spent too much time in the same room together. But it was Anakin's quick tongue that really amused her. While his mouth usually got them into some sort of trouble, it often was still very humorous.  
>"Right." Obi-wan said, realizing that there was much preparation to be made if they were going to set a course for Mandalore by the end of the galactic standard day.<br>"See you on the ship." Anakin said as he made his way for the door.  
>"Don't be late." Obi-wan called after him.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Padme danced around her bedroom trying to get her things packed for the journey to Mandalore. Her handmaiden Dorme tried her best to assist her, but Padme preferred to do things herself. She was independent that way, even when she was Queen of Naboo. A small suitcase layed open on her bed and Padme tossed random clothing onto it in such a disarray that Dorme wondered how the senator functioned while trying to be so independent. Whenever the senator had her back turned, Dorme would quickly fold the clothing and neatly place them within the suitcase. Padme would turn around and assume that she was neatly placing them in her suitcase the whole time. However, Padme usually would scold Dorme for helping, for some reason she hadn't noticed the help she was getting.  
>"What seems to be the matter, M' lady?" Dorme asked.<br>At first Padme did not respond, she was trying her best to fold a pair of pants but was utterly failing. Dorme tried again. "M'lady?"  
>Padme snapped out of her trance. "What did you say?" She asked.<br>"I asked if something was bothering you. You seem on edge."  
>"It's nothing." Padme said putting on a fake smile. Dorme decided not to persist and walked over to take the pair of pants that Padme was still trying to fold properly.<br>"Are you still not done packing?" The two heard coming from the doorway. Padme looked up to find Anakin leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded across his chest. He smiled when Padme met his gaze.  
>She was stunned for only a moment, but then decided to give him a hard time. "You know a gentleman knocks before entering a lady's room." She commented.<br>Anakin's smile grew wider. "Not if he was already invited." He teased.  
>"Oh, and I suppose you think I invited you."<br>"No, I invited myself." He said. Their gazes did not falter away from one another. Dorme was unsure of how to respond to Padme and the young Jedi, but decided it might be best to leave the room.  
>"M'lady." She said with a bow and walked out of the room, eyeing Anakin on her way out to ensure he wasn't a threat.<br>Anakin closed the door as he stepped towards Padme. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her small body. "Should we finish what we started yeserday?" He asked. Padme's heart started to race making her face hot, her cheeks turning pink. Anakin's hands began to explore her body, leaving tingling trails wherever they travelled.  
>"We have to meet up at the ship soon." Padme said, not stopping Anakin's advances.<br>He turned her around. "Well then we better be quick." He said before picking her up and propping her against her closet door. His mouth crashed into hers, taking her breath from her. She enjoyed every last breathless second of his passionate kiss. His hand held her thigh up around his waist and he squeezed her closer, holding her as if this was the last time they would be together.  
>They parted their kiss so Anakin could lift her skin tight white top off. Keeping one hand underneath her for support, he let his flesh hand graze her silky smooth skin. His hand was rough and calloused from war and it scratched at her skin slightly, but she was too caught up in the moment to care.<br>Her hands ran down his hard chest and rested at his belt. She unclasped it and let it fall to the ground. "Make love to me, Ani." She said as she pulled off his tunic. He kissed her once again before putting both hands underneath her thighs and carrying her over to the bed.

Obi-wan waited impatiently by the starships hatch for Anakin and Senator Amidala. Everything was in order, supplies were loaded, the few clone trooper pilots were in position, all that was missing were his former padawan and main negotiator. "I could have sworn I told him not to be late." Obi-wan said to Ahsoka who sat on a nearby crate waiting for her master.  
>"He will be here." Ahsoka assured him. "I'm sure of it."<br>Obi-wan chuckled. "Oh, I am sure of it as well. The question is when."  
>Ahsoka studied Obi-wan, noticing a difference in his usual disapproving tone. While he seemed impatient, he also seemed confident that all would work out. "This must be frustrating to you." Ahsoka said, just trying to make conversation to pass the time.<br>"It's infuriating." He said with a smile. "But he wouldn't be Anakin if he wasn't fashionably late. He's been late for just about everything ever since he was a boy." Ahsoka smiled. She liked hearing about Anakin's past, seeing as he usually avoided such subjects. But she could always count on his friends to dig up some dirt on him. "Of course, when he showed up late during battle he usually showed up with a way to win. I can't give him too much trouble for always being there when the battles got tough."  
>Ahsoka smiled. "Yeah, he always knows how to go that extra mile for his friends."<br>Obi-wan paused for a second, leaving Ahsoka to wonder what he was thinking about. Her curiosity was soon answered. "Anakin will always be a great friend, but he hasn't learned to let those friendships go when the time is right. It is his weakness." Ahsoka was surprised to hear this. How could being there for your friends be such a bad thing? She wondered. But if Anakin hasn't learned that Jedi lesson, then it makes sense that he never taught her. "Don't tell him I told you this." Obi-wan warned. "He would be most unhappy."  
>Just then they saw Anakin and Padme enter the hanger with R2-D2 close at their heels. Ahsoka noticed that they walked rather close to one another, sharing conversation while laughing and joking with one another. Padme looked flushed and Anakin looked happier than usual. It brought sadness and hurt to her heart, seeing him enjoy the company of another female other than her. Even though she knew Anakin was a Jedi and could never act on such things, she couldn't help but feel the twinge of jealousy. Get it together. She thought to herself. A Jedi is beyond such feelings.<br>Obi-wan greeted them. He bowed to the Senator and gave a frown to his former padawan. "I told you not tot be late."  
>Anakin smiled. "Well if the Senator could pack faster for a mission I would have been here on time just as you asked."<br>Padme quickly elbowed him in the side. "I'd pick your fights wisely if I were you." She scolded him before entering the starship with R2-D2. Ahsoka followed her.  
>"She means you would loose." Obi-wan confirmed.<br>"Yeah, yeah. I know what she means." Anakin said before following Obi-wan into the starship.


	4. Chapter 4

The passenger cabin of the small space transport was rather cold once they got into space. Ahsoka sat alone in one of the passenger seats, hugging her legs to her chest for warmth. She never did get used to the temperature changes of space travel. She was also glad to be alone for the moment because it gave her space to think.

Using her Jedi training, she tried clearing her mind of all the thoughts from the oncoming mission. While she never had trouble in the past, this time was very different. She just couldn't clear her mind of Anakin. She kept thinking of how he looked towards the Senator, and the genuine smile that was painted across his face. Though she knew she should feel differently, she was angry. She was angry because she wished she was the one who brought that happiness to him, not Padme. And while she was very good friends with the senator, she could feel herself pulling away from that friendship.

She was always taught at the temple that anger was the worst emotion of all. It was the emotion that fueled the Sith. Now it was the emotion she carried with her and she wished it didn't exist. How was she supposed to look past this when the emotion was so powerful? Ahsoka wished that her feelings would go away, but she wished more than anything that she could find the answers she needed from her Master.

As she was contemplating the best way to forget about her feelings, she failed to notice that she no longer was alone in the passenger cabin.

"You seem troubled, young one." She heard. Ahsoka was instantly startled. When she looked up she saw Master Obi-wan standing before her with his arms crossed over his chest.

"No, not troubled." She lied. "Just thinking."

Obi-wan sat down next to her. He could sense her emotions all over the place. "About anything important?" He asked.

"No." Ahsoka wished he would leave. Master Kenobi was a great Master and had helped her a lot through her training, but she didn't want to be under his scrutinizing eyes at the moment.

They sat in silence for a while. Obi-wan sat very still next to Ahsoka, testing her patience. Ahsoka could feel herself ready to burst. She wanted to ask Obi-wan about controlling her emotions, but at the same time she didn't. She held her breath till it all came out. "How do you stop feeling emotions?" She blurted out.

Obi-wan looked surprised by her outburst. Not because of her urgency for an answer, but on the subject. He found it quite absurd to want to stop feeling. "One doesn't stop feeling, Ahsoka." He began carefully. "Emotions are what make us human, it's the very thing that gives us morals. We can't forget about them, but we must put others needs in front of our own. Therefore we must look past our emotions."

"I hear that all the time. How am I supposed to look past my emotions when they feel so powerful?" She asked.

Obi-wan chuckled and brought his hand up to his beard. "It's not supposed to be easy." They sat together in silence for yet another moment. It was Obi-wan this time that broke the silence. "Have you brought this up to Anakin at all?" He asked.

Ahsoka's face instantly brightened up at the mention of her Master. "No, I haven't." She said. "I'm afraid to."

Obi-wan looked surprised. "Afraid to? He's not going to hurt you. In fact I'm sure Anakin would be the perfect person to talk to. As my padawan he struggled with keeping his emotions under control as well. Restraint was never his strong suit."

"Perhaps you are right."

Padme stood above a moved floor tile in one of the halls of the transport. Beneath her she could see the many wires and mechanical parts that kept the ship working. Anakin was crouched down in the small crawl space, tools in hand, tinkering with the foreign workings of the ship. It was when he was working on a droid or ship that Padme thought he looked most like that little boy she knew on Tatooine. The war had changed him, but she knew the Ani she loved still resided.

Without looking up Anakin called out. "R2, can you get that power coupling I threw up there earlier?" The droid rolled itself over to the spare part and picked it up with it's mechanical appendage. Padme walked over and took it from the droid. She bent over and handed it to her husband. He looked up, his piercing blue eyes shining through the grime on his face. He smiled as he took the part from Padme's hand. "Thanks R2."

"May I?" Padme said as she gestured to climb down into the space with him. Anakin nodded and Padme worked herself into the tight crawlspace beneath the ship's floors. Her body was pressed up against Anakin's. His strong arms reached around her to continue working on the ship. "What exactly are you working on?" She asked trying to learn more about the ship.

"The shield generator." He said breathing into her hair. He was so close that each breath he took she could feel against the skin of her neck. It brought shivers to her spine. "This part here is what gives power to the shields, assuming its installed correctly." He said before planting a kiss on her neck.

The kiss made her skin tingle with excitement. "I'm assuming you know how to install it correctly." She said humoring him.

"Even with all the distractions." He said. He let one of his hands free of the ships parts and had it gently graze padme's thigh. The small touch was driving her wild. She was ready to turn around and take advantage of the handsome Jedi.

Before she could manage the maneuver, they both heard the clearing of someone's throat. When they looked up they saw Obi-wan standing above them. Padme quickly climbed out of the crawlspace and made her way to the passenger cabin. Obi-wan stood silently over Anakin.

"I was teaching her about shield generators." Anakin explained. Obi-wan just nodded which further frustrated Anakin. He never liked when his Master shut him out. He never knew what Obi-wan was thinking.

"Have you spoken to your padawan lately?" Obi-wan asked. Anakin was surprised that Obi-wan didn't lecture him but instead inquired about something completely different.

"I saw her when I got on the ship." He said cluelessly.

"She seems to be struggling with her emotions. I talked to her and she seems confused on keeping her emotions in control."

"I'll talk to her." Anakin said before returning to his work.

"And one other thing that concerns me. She said she was afraid to bring this problem up to you."

Anakin stopped his work and looked confused. "Why would she be afraid of me? That doesn't make sense."

Obi-wan shrugged. "I don't know. But whatever the reason, she is troubled." Obi-wan watched Anakin go back to working on the ship. "What are you working on anyway?" He asked.

Anakin smiled. "A surprise for the blockade."

"You can never sit still, can you?" Obi-wan said.

Anakin just smiled at his remark.


End file.
